There is tons of research that shows the gender gap in self confidence between women and men with women on the losing end. There is also a ton of research about the connection between negative mindset and physical and emotional health.

As women, we are more likely to engage the negative mindsets addressed below throughout our lives without even realizing it.

We’ve got a lot of good years left and for many of us years where we can pursue our dream and do “that thing” we always wanted to do but never got around to. These mindsets have the capacity to stop us from doing that.

And those untapped fun years and untapped talent would be a loss. To the person herself as well as the people who would be reaping the benefits of her “after 50 redefinition.” Number one, especially, can have the power to paralyze us and prevent us from moving forward.

Mindset #1 – We Care What Others Think of Us

Sometimes this mindset is so strong that it holds us back from doing the thing we always wanted to do. “What if people laugh at me?” “What will my friends think?” “My family? Will they think I’m being selfish for taking time to do this? Or spending money to do this?” And so it goes.

Caring what others think of us is normal and important in order to function in a society. However, when this mindset interferes with you making a move or pursuing your dream, it’s working against you. Many of us have spent our lives putting family and others first. And we may still be continuing to do that because we love doing it and we love them. But, that doesn’t mean that we can’t take this opportunity to take some time for ourselves, as well.

We don’t give our friends and family enough credit when we have this mindset. They love us and want us to be happy. They’re proud of us! And often, the reactions that we have made up in our brains couldn’t be farther from the truth.

When I made the decision to start this blog, I was very “shy” about telling my husband. I had always wanted to write and had never pursued it. But the desire to do this outweighed the mindset. And, of course, he was super supportive.

Then, I sent my sons the link to my website. Which terrified me. And, of course, they’ve been very supportive and even complementary!

Finally, I put the link on my Facebook page which made me so anxious I felt sick to my stomach. And, once again, the response was overwhelmingly positive.

All of that energy wasted in worrying about what others might think. And it makes me sick to think that had I worried enough, I wouldn’t have this “baby” that I LOVE. That’s kept me busy and sane and given me new things to learn and new ways to grow.

I would never have met this tribe of incredible women!

Mindset #2 – We Don't Recognize Our Value

As women we have often spent our lives downplaying our worth. As women over 50, this can become even a bigger issue. We are more likely to criticize our body and our appearance. Some of us may be struggling with not being needed as much by our families who may have once defined us! I find myself slowing down just a bit at my job which is one that requires energy. It can cause me on a bad day to feel like I’m “washed up.”

But, we have so many strengths. And we need to tell ourselves what we would tell our best friend if she is putting herself down.

We have the incredible perspective and insight on many topics that 50+ years of life experience brings to the table. We are empathic, confident, and grateful. Our younger counterparts, whether they be our children and their friends or co-workers look to us as mentors. They realize all that we have to offer, even if we don’t always.

We Don't Seek Help When We Need It

We are often too proud to seek help, whether from family and friends or professionals. It’s difficult to be vulnerable or to admit that something is wrong. This can sometimes even be scary and anxiety producing. We don’t want to be a burden to anyone.

Welldoing.org points out, however, that:

• Confident people realize that they can’t do it all themselves;
• That it’s best use of time and energy to solve the problem with the help of someone who is adept;
• That if they are stressed and anxious, they aren’t being their best selves, so help may be needed to get back on track.

Refusing to ask for help when you need it is refusing someone the chance to be helpful. —Rick Okasek We love being helpful. Let’s give others the chance to be! 

I think perhaps my biggest mindset change EVER has been changing the common phrase, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” to “What’s the BEST thing that can happen?” When I say that and I visualize the best thing that can happen, it inevitably turns a negative mindset completely around and gets me excited! It can be applied to each of the negative mindset situations described in this post.

Let’s make “What’s the best thing that can happen if I do ……..” one of our daily visualizations and journal prompts. What a great way to start the day.